When Chaos

Website of Jared (Real)

Yakuza 3 Remastered - Beaten October 14th, 2024

Kiryu looking the wrong way cause I have a format and it looked weird doing it the default

Why can’t this poor man have a happy life

I’ve had the itch to pick up a Yakuza (a LaD) again for a minute now, and I think the announcement of Pirate Majima finally kicked me into gear.

It’s been like… 3 years? Since I played Kiwami 2, which I actually think was a good thing for this game. Rather than going from modern Yakuza immediately into old, still growing Yakuza, and feeling that whiplash, I feel like I got to have a pretty fresh experience with this guy, and kinda judge it on its own merits rather than comparing it to the great remakes before it/the Objective Superiority that is 0 (I feel like this isn’t a terribly hot take)

I’ve seen the comments people leave, the rumors, people fuckin hate this game; so it was good to finally get my own feelings on it (and now this is the part where I say those feelings)

Chapter 1: Gameplay
第1章:ゲームプレイ

The Big Controversial Part. The Evil.

To start on a positive, more general note; this is Yakuza. You Cannot Go Wrong With The Formula. It’s a completionist’s dream/worst nightmare, it’s perfect for whatever tone you want, it’s tried and true. This is the 3rd time they have done it and they are becoming exceedingly efficient at it. If I didn’t like the baseline of this series I wouldn’t be at the 3rd entry. I love doing fight, eating food, filling up the numbers on the completion, it’s fun, it makes my monkey brain happy. I love being in the same city I’ve always been in and seeing how it’s changed this time around, as well as what hasn’t changed. It’s such a unique feeling that I don’t think other games have.

Coming from the previous entries, I wasn’t used to random battles having dialogue instead of a smooth transition; I was iffy at first, but honestly the rewards having silly adjectives won me over and I was entertained until the end (I don’t even want to know why this ¥50,000 is lukewarm). I also actually really liked the running sequences. It took some getting used to for the rhythm of dodging around pedestrians, but once I got the hang of it I actually looked forward to them. I do wish Mack’s training came earlier, though, and also came with more diverse benefits other than More Stamina and Strong Tackle.

Minigaaaaaames. As with every entry in this series, they are wide and diverse; some I love, some I despise. My favorites ended up being Karaoke (this is every game though, and I love rhythm games this is no surprise), Koi-Koi (a love I’ve obtained from previous games), Darts, surprisingly enough (once I figured out The Strat I cleaned house), and Bowling (another classic, figure out The Strat). Least favorites were Fishing (I generally don’t like fishing in games though), and that God Damn Batting Center. I HATE the batting center I swear I just could not get that timing right. I also don’t like mahjong but I knew that from previous games so I didn’t touch it. One day I’ll learn but not today. Aroma Massage was frustrating but I didn’t need to do it much so it gets a pass (also the baby failure was fuckin FUNNY), and Boxcelios was actually pretty neat but it didn’t wow me. Also getting put here is the Hostess Maker; I respect it for being the start of good minigames later, I do not care for it, and I swear I had constant garbo luck.

Alright, now the main part. Combat. I think from the start, I was aware of “Blockuza 3”; and I’m not sure if having that awareness affects my bias of analyzing it at all. Like I said, it’s been 3 years since I last played a Yakuza game, so I don’t…. really remember the general combat flow of those? I remember bosses have always been a bit frustrating. Start of the game was fine. I didn’t have issues, and I felt like I was using grabs, weapons, and heat actions a lot more than I remember doing in the past (I also think me thinking of heat action completion more helped this). I vibed with it for a good while! No issues. Bosses took a little bit, but they always did. However, once I hit late game, especially when I was doing the coliseum, I understood. There’s an issue here.

To be blunt, the AI sucks. EVERYTHING ELSE is fine, the AI sucks. There are two things here. Everyone knows the blocks; they’re all the time. So ok, I’m gonna work around it. I’m gonna go for grabs, I’m going to tiger drop to negate all damage. I’m going to use the counter mechanics it’s given me cause I can’t quite get in otherwise. This would be ideal, if the AI did anything. The most egregious example of this, and the summarization of my point, is the final training with Komaki. I need to parry his attack, and then use ultimate dragon king essence. Awesome! …why isn’t he attacking? He’s just… dodging. And looking at me. He doesn’t do anything until I throw a punch in his direction, which then he freaks out and kicks my ass. How am I supposed to parry him if he doesn’t attack? How am I supposed to get around the invincible walls if they won’t interact with me? How is tiger drop supposed to negate all damage if there’s no damage!?!?! There’s workarounds of course. I learned some good rhythms, I figured out the combos that could get in, and When I had weapons they were useful, but those have durability and I can’t rely on them forever.

There is a clear problem here, but I do think it is only apparent on the higher level play of the game. Generally, for the most part, I had a perfectly fine time, and I got to do that one scene from Avengers where Hulk throws Loki back and forth and it worked so frequently it was hilarious. I can imagine if I played above normal, I would be more upset (But I didn’t cause I’m not looking for a punishing experience and I’m cool with that!).

One last thing, super minor; I definitely prefer the later games’ leveling. They give you more stuff more often, where here my leveling really started to slow down giving me less things which made me sad. It’s not huge but it’s there.

Chapter 2: Story
第2章:物語

This is the REAL treasure of this game. I Love This Story. Kiryu Dad Simulator is the greatest thing ever. How do you make the Father Fantasy even better? By adding several more children, and giving you time with each and every one, letting you love, and appreciate them, so that way you care for this orphanage in the same way that Kiryu does. Honestly if I just left Kamurocho for Okinawa and there was no crime the entire time and it was just take care of your foster children I would be so so so so ok with that.

Anyways, there’s two major reasons why I enjoyed this game’s story so much more than the rest. 1. The characters were all great, and 2. I think it felt a little more cohesive than some of the previous entries.

Substory 120: Characters

I feel like whenever I write a characters section it doubles the length of my already long post, but again, they are such a huge reason of why I loved this story.

As for the cohesiveness, I think the little point I made with Andre is a good summary. Previous entries have had this like, last minute What The Fuck plot twist nonsense that completely go wild and kinda tie together all the plot points. But in 3, I didn’t feel that What The Fuck. I got it. I think the Okinawa land, the opposing bills of Resort vs Military Base, the involvement of the CIA, Black Monday, and the Yakuza, as well as the inner turmoil of the Tojo Clan; I honestly think it all tied together pretty smoothly. Andre was just the strangest part of it but he was so nothing compared to the rest that I literally don’t care. (I Am Trying My Best To Ignore That Second To Last Cutscene)

I think overall, the general theme I got from this game was love. I felt the Essence of Love (press Heavy Attack at Blue Heat near Family) infused through nearly every part of this game. In Okinawa, with the Orphanage, with the Ryudo Family. In Kamurocho, with Daigo, with Mine, with Joji. Even in some of the substories, they generally felt… kinder? than usual? Like maybe I’m crazy for that, but there wasn’t a lot of mean spirited things in the game I don’t think. Hell, there was a whole sidequest that literally said trans rights lmfao. It all made me very happy.

Chapter 3: Aesthetics
第3章:美学

I’ve seen some criticisms on how this game looks (like one time when I was trying to google something one of the suggested was literally “why does yakuza 3 look bad”), but honestly, I kinda like it. It’s absolutely the start of what modern LaD looks like, with a bit of that PS3 edge (and I mean that literally, bit of polygonal action). I think the best looking area is Morning Glory Beach, I love the water, the sands, and the greenery there. Music is classic Yakuza, there’s not much to say beyond it’s good, but doesn’t always have tracks that stick out to me (there are some; Fly, Dead Run, and Another Demiworld I think are the standouts (also D2A lmfao)).

Chapter 4: Similar, But Not Equal To, A Dragon (aka the rest of my thoughts and the finale)
第4章:似て非なるもの、ドラゴン(感想の続きとフィナーレ)

Yakuza is usually beloved and infamous for its tonal dissonance. My favorite quote I saw once was “Yakuza is a serious crime drama occasionally interrupted by an episode of The Simpsons”. I think 3, for the most part, felt a little bit more on the serious or genuine end. But from my research (light googling) on what the original 1 and 2 were like, 3 is the start of what we know now, what eventually turns into 0. Karaoke is getting its ridiculous start, we have revelations giving us more over the top comedy. But I think the balance it gives is something I appreciated. The serious parts had a genuine feeling to them that really grabbed me, but I still got my silly fix.

It’s such a shame that this game has that stench of combat attached to it, cause it really was a good experience. I think it’s overhated, and especially because you’ll naturally play it after more modern games doesn’t help.

While I could absolutely feel The Inevitable Yakuza Burnout towards the end, I still think I’m gonna look back at 3 positively.

8/10. Amazing story and characters in a genuinely heartfelt wrapping, just with kinda clunky gameplay. Fix that AI and my major issues are solved.

also like wasn’t it super fucked that Sayama became a love interest for Kiryu, but then just fucking dipped and went to go date an American dude in the side text

Originally posted on Tumblr on Oct. 15th, 2024